Shaneland

An unidentified man recently stole my identity. He directed people to my website, talked over instant messenger and sent emails in my name. The goal of this sinister enterprise? He wished to chat to Asian girls on-line and found it expedient to have a false identity and photographic “proof” of experience in Asia to facilitate this. I have lived in Japan, and visited China, Thailand, Malaysia and Taiwan, and suited his purposes admirably.

I did not discover this identity theft on my own. A young woman suspected something was amiss with her version of ‘Shane Coughlan’ and emailed me directly. She – an export trader in Shenyang – noted differences between his stories and the evidence on my website. My co-workers in secure communication had a giggle (we are network security people and should really avoid this sort of embarrassment).

I am disturbed by the theft of my identity. This is not because I believe anything particularly harmful could have been done in my name, but because I find the motive behind the theft disconcerting. The person who assumed my name has a fetish for Asian women and he is not alone. The plethora of ethnically orientated pornography suggests he has plenty of company.

The objectification of women is hardly something new, nor is the idea of certain ethnic traits being associated with an ethnic identity. For many people the English are still cold, the Germans have no sense of humour and the Japanese are inscrutable. Associations of female servility and humbleness combined with masculine power are still applied to Asia.

During my time in Japan I was frequently ashamed both of the expected and actual behaviour of my fellow Europeans and (not so fellow) Americans and Australians. Arrogant sexual predators would be a polite label for a good number of the crowd I encountered. Recently a Japanese friend of mine called me in a distressed state. Her friend’s boyfriend had just asked if he could invite someone to have sex with her.

There is still something of the cultural imperialist about us Euro-centric males, and a slightly annoying whiff of empire. A lack of accountability, respect or decency has a habit of travelling with young European or American men as they wander through nations. Young women flock around following dreams born of TV or movies or magazines, and hearts inevitably are broken.

I am baffled by the lack of accountability more than anything else. I fail to understand how young men can regard actions unacceptable in England or France or the USA as something allowable in Japan, China or Thailand. The gulf between such actions and consideration of other people’s feelings is immense. Let’s take our little identity thief. He is talking to women and taking their trust, building false promises and hopes of a relationship. He is elaborately fabricating a lie that can have no purpose but to prove to himself that he can attract Asian women (if he pretends to be someone else).

How cruel.

One feels a sense of vague hopelessness. There is little point in hanging signs in schools saying “Women are not toys.” There is even less point in hanging signs that say “Chinese women are not toys.” While we foster implicit or explicit ideas of racial difference and inherent superiority – or lack thereof – there will be no genuine respect for other cultures. In exactly the same manner there will be no genuine equality between genders.

Education is key. When young men are told they are better than young women they will believe it. When Western youths are told that Asian women are servile the same will hold true. We can counter this only by educating people in different cultures, different value systems, and instilling in people a strong sense of respect. Respect must cross cultures and include even those that one might not agree with.

Occasionally on cultural forums I notice a flare-up. It usually starts with some tale of a Westerner doing xyz to a girl, and a bunch of men get hot under the collar. I understand the emotion but fear the sentiments expressed tend to perpetuate rather than improve the situation. Picking on the adult disasters is not going to ensure that our future generations get on well. Educating people is the only way to guarantee that.

I sincerely hope that my child will see no difference between an Anglo-Saxon and an ethic Han beyond history and language. My great-grandfather was a Royal Navy officer in Hong Kong when the sign on the door at the officers club said “No dogs, no Chinese.” Just shortly before that in the USA signs outside shops would say “No blacks, no Irish” (I’m Irish). I am tired of that world, and I hope that we can work together to fix it.

In the meantime, if you are an Asian woman and meet someone on MSN who claims they are Shane Coughlan please be careful. The real Shane has no time for instant messaging. If you want to marry me you’ll have to email directly.

This article was originally published on Dimsum. Copyright (c) 2006 Shane Coughlan.